Born Behind Bars
by Autumn37
Summary: "I'm still scared. I am only eighteen years old, kid. I got out of the system a couple years ago and survived by stealing and committing a bunch of other things to survive. That's how I got into this mess."


**Emma/Henry centered**

**The night of his birth.**

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><p>For once the place is quiet. No noise, no screaming, crying, fighting, for once it was complete bliss. You could hear a pin drop, if there were pins to drop. But instead, you can hear the little crickets outside making their melodic mating calls. Also an occasional coyote howl, but other than that, the place was as peaceful as ever.<p>

Currently, I lay on my side with elbow helping my hand to prop up my head. The luminous moonlight shines through the long vertical rectangular window and allowing my room to be illuminated somewhat. I see it cast a light onto my very blond hair, almost making it seem like it is glowing.

By the looks of it, I can tell that it is probably around three am or so, but there is no accurate way to tell. I can just go by the amount of exhaustion my body feels and the ever existing bags under my eyes, but surprisingly I am fully awake. Well, my body is pissed that I'm awake, but my mind is running, and I know I can't go back to sleep until he is done.

My eyes move away from the glistening moon, and look down at a beautiful baby lying beside me. A beautiful pale baby boy with a patch of brown hair on his small little head. The baby. _My_ baby. Henry. I have no idea how I picked the name Henry, I don't even know a Henry. Something just told me that that is what he is supposed to be called. Maybe he told me, with some kind of aura or something. Well, that doesn't matter now. All that matter is that he exists and he is mine.

There he is. His big brown eyes being hidden by his droopy eyelids, as he steadily suckles on the nipple of my breast. I am not going to lie, it feels weird. Really weird. Like, something is sucking on your nipple and it hurts, but it's a good kind of weird because you know that you are providing your kid nourishment. That somehow you can take care of you kid with just the maternal reaction of your body.

That doesn't stop me from being scared as hell, but it distracts me. This small moment of bliss almost makes the rest of my chaotic life disappear and almost makes me feel like it will all be okay. I feel his small little legs press against my stomach, like he is trying to find human contact. So, I grab his little diaper covered bum and pull him closer to me.

"Henry," I say. "Hey kid." I curl my finger and lazily rub it against is soft cheek.

"I love you already." I tell him, pushing up my glasses as they fall down my face. "Swear I do. So much. But I have to let you in on a little secret, okay? You can't tell anyone." I look down at him and he gives out a small little gurgle before resuming the suckling.

"Good. I knew I could count on you. Now, don't be mad okay? Promise? Okay. I was going to give you up. I know, I know, I was being selfish, but I was scared. I'm still scared. I am only eighteen years old, kid. I got out of the system a couple years ago and survived by stealing and committing a bunch of other things to survive. That's how I got into this mess." I gesture to the small room that encloses us. "I have nowhere to go when we get out of here. I don't know what we are going to do. All I know is that I have a car and I have you to worry about now." He furrows his eyebrows a bit and I smile.

"No, don't get me wrong, you're not a burden or anything. I just…I don't know how good of a mother I am going to be since I never had one to learn from, you know? But, I swear I am going to try my best to get us stabilized as soon as possible. I am going to find the best job and I am going to get you into the best school ever when you get older. I promise that you are never going to feel alone and like no one cares about you, because I am always going to be there for you. I promise." He relaxes his face. I softly stroke the back of his head and place a kiss on his forehead.

"You are going to be the best and only man in my life and I wouldn't have it any other way okay? I am going to protect you. I am going to be the best damn mom ever. Even if I don't know what I am doing, I am going to do my best and I won't let you down.

"Even if I work two jobs and have to send you to daycare for a little while until I can figure out what we are going to do and where we are going to go, I am still going to stay up all night with you if you want to. I am going to watch those annoying singing kid shows with you, take you to the park, the movies, and even to Chuck E. Cheese. Maybe I'll even beat you at laser tag, I am the best you know." I smirk.

"Oh! And I am even going to teach you how to make my favorite drink. Hot chocolate with whipped cream and cinnamon." I kiss the tips of my fingers and extent them backward. "It is the best!

"And we can go anywhere you want to go. Anywhere, you can point to any place on the map and we will go there. We can find our own…Talla…hassee." I say somberly. All memories of Neal start flooding into my head, but I quickly shake them off. That bastard doesn't deserve my love or my time. I just look down at my son, who has slipped away into a deep sleep and I laugh. I fix my clothing into place, pick him up, and lean against the cool white wall. I hold him close to my chest and rock him slightly. I smile and my stupid hormones and emotions take over me, and a tear starts to run down my cheek.

"Point is, kid," I shakily say, "I have never had a family, but we can be each other's family. I was going to give you up because I don't know how great of a life you are going to have with me. But I started thinking about my life in the system, and let me tell you, it was HELL. I wasn't going to put you through that too. I am not going to promise that life with me is going to be a picture perfect life in Happy Swell Meadows, but at least we will be together." I say more to myself than to him.

"We can grow up together, okay?" I ask him. With a mischievous smirk, I use my index finger to pull down his bottom lip.

"Yes mommy." I say in a high-pitched voice, and pull his lip down with every word. Seeing him, for the first time, this first night together makes me giddy.

I giggle slightly, and kiss his forehead again. I don't think I will ever be able to stop doing that. Maybe, at first I was freaked out about having a kid, but now I realize that it is a blessing in disguise. It's like some source of power is letting me know that this is a step closer to having the family I always wanted. Telling me that everything is going to turn out for the best.

I smile. This is the most I have smiled since…since Neal. I stare down at my son. The steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathes. The way his little body feels nestled into mine. My baby. My Henry.

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><p><strong>Review? What do you think? Too many feels? What do you think of 18 year old Emma?<strong>


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